South Miz
by La Epster
Summary: COMPLETE (Finally) Les Mis meets South Park. I bet it's been done many times but I wanted to do it. Four Les Mis Characters switch places with four South Park Characters.
1. Default Chapter

South Miz- Chapter 1: Goin' on Down to South Miz  
  
A/N: This is my parody of South Park and Les Miserables. What if four South Park Characters and Four Les Miserables Characters switched places? I'm putting it in the Les Miserables section because it focuses mostly on the Les Miserables characters being in the future. There are no curse words spelled out because I don't swear. They are replaced by different forms of censorship. Grantaire, Enjolras, and Marius/Eponine in this one. Yes, all three/Eponine. I don't own Les Miserables or South Park.  
  
Eponine was inside the café at a table. Grantaire was next to Enjolras and Marius was reading a book. Suddenly, a bright light appeared in the room. The foursome suddenly found themselves in a snow-covered mountain town. Eponine started to speak but realized that her hair was covering her face to where only her eyes were visible.  
  
(You guys! What's going on?) She asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
(I said, what's going on?)  
  
"Eponine I can't understand you!" Marius said. He noticed that his voice was much higher.  
  
Grantaire looked around. He felt his face to feel that his trademark five o'clock shadow was still there. He noticed that everyone still looked like what they looked like when they were in the café except a bit shorter... and he noticed that Eponine was HOT. The others noticed that too.  
  
"So, Eponine," Grantaire started. "Do you want to check out this beautiful new world, together?"  
  
"Back off! She's mine!" Marius shouted. After all, now that he was in a strange place, away from Cosette, with no hope of returning, he could always go for someone else and Eponine was mysteriously HOT!  
  
"No! I saw her first!" Enjolras shouted. After all, now he was in a strange place that seemed so unopressed, he could pursue women and Eponine was HOT!  
  
Eponine suddenly liked this many men wanting her so badly and so she decided to play with there minds.  
  
(Well, boys. If you want me, you'll have to catch me.)  
  
Eponine began to run with the others chasing her. She ran down a hill into a grove of trees. She darted around as the men chased her. Finally, she came to a large tree and climbed it. The boys all tried to climb the tree.  
  
"No fair, Eponine!"  
  
Eponine climbed down and ran again. Enjolras ran out in front of them and tackled her. They started to laugh. Grantaire sulked until he got an idea.  
  
"Dog pile!" He screamed as he made a flying leap onto the two of them. Marius joined in and soon, they were tangled up with each other.  
  
(Oh darn, now I'll have to decide... I really want all of you but here's what I'll do. I take Marius one week, Enjolras the next, and Grantaire the week after that and we'll go that way as long as we like.)  
  
They went into town to find a place to stay when they ran into a tall, thin, man with a big head and large glasses.  
  
"Where're you kids going, M'kay?"  
  
"Who the bleep are you?" Grantaire asked.  
  
"You must be the new French foreign exchange students. I'm your counselor Mr. Mackey. M'kay?"  
  
"Uh. Yeah." Enjolras said.  
  
"Anyway, come to school tomorrow. M'kay?"  
  
"What ever." Marius said.  
  
The foursome kept walking down the street. They saw a house and Grantaire knocked on the door. A brown haired woman wearing a blue shirt, and a red skirt.  
  
"Oh, hello. You must be the foreign exchange students. Well, I am Mrs. Cartman. My son was here a while ago but he simply vanished."  
  
Grantaire looked at her. Eponine turned to Grantaire.  
  
(Hey, why don't we each find a place to stay until we figure out where we are?)  
  
So that they did, Eponine ended up with the McCormicks, Marius stayed with the Marshes, Grantaire stayed with Mrs. Cartman, and Enjolras stayed with the Brovloskis. Each family spoke of having a child but none of the children were ever around. Eponine and Marius snuck out later that night and met by a pond with the sign "Stark's Pond."  
  
"Oh Eponine, this is the most beautiful night ever."  
  
(It sure is.)  
  
"Would you mind if I kissed you?"  
  
(Of course not.) Eponine said.  
  
But before Marius could kiss Eponine, a large fish rose out of the pond, grabbed Eponine's head, and dragged her down as she screamed. Blood came up after a while and then Eponine's head bobbed up. Her eye's were half open.  
  
"Sacrebleu! You killed Eppie!" Marius cried.  
  
"You bleep!" Enjolras cried out from inside "his" room.  
  
Meanwhile, in Paris in 1832, four children, one wearing a brown coat, one wearing a greet hat with flaps, one wearing a parka, and one that was rather fat, excuse me, big-boned, found themselves in the Café Musain. Eric Cartman, the big-boned one, found himself holding a bottle with a mysterious green liquid.  
  
"Alright! Mountain Dew!" Cartman said before taking a big drink. He almost choked when he drank it. "Ugh! This tastes awful. Yet it's strangely addicting."  
  
"Dude? Where are we? The brown coated one name Stan Marsh asked.  
  
"I don't know," the one with the green cap named Kyle Brovloski said. "Where do you think we are, Kenny?  
  
(I don't know, but it sure isn't South Park.) Kenny McCormick replied.  
  
"Dude! You've Gotsh to try shome of thish Mountain Dew!" Cartman said before passing out.  
  
Just then eight men came running into the café. They stopped and looked at the children.  
  
"Why are there children in here, Joly?" The bald one asked the brunette next to him in French.  
  
"I don't know, Lesgle," Joly replied in French.  
  
"Holy Bleep you guys! We're in France!" Stan screamed.  
  
A/N: I've always wanted to twist south Park with something and what better than Les Mis? Please no flames.  
  
La Epster 


	2. Enjolras meets Mr Slave

Chapter 2- Enjolras meets Mr. Slave.  
  
A/N: First five reviewers get a flash Infomercial for "GRantaire sings (A fake CD so don't try and Buy it) animated and voiced by moi. Just give me your e-mail address and I'll send it. I don't own Les Mis or South Park. I mean no offense in this chapter. No flames please.  
  
Enjolras and Eponine walked into class hand in hand. They sat down in seats next to each other as kids next to them stared. Then, a little blond boy turned to them.  
  
"H-hi. I'm Butters."  
  
"Class please. Now I'm going to introduce myself to the foreign exchange students. My name is Mr. Garrison and this is my assistant Mr. Slave."  
  
Enjolras took one look at Mr. Garrison and then at Mr. Slave and shuddered. Grantaire saw this and shuddered. Marius looked on with his doltish expression.  
  
As the class went on, Enjolras became more and more frightened.  
  
"Excuez-moi, Monsieur Garrison, but I need to use the Water Closet." Grantaire said.  
  
"You may go."  
  
"Can I go to?" Enjolras asked.  
  
"No. You have to wait until he gets back."  
  
Well, class droned on. Science came and things really did not go well as they repeated the "Lemmiwinks experiment" (For those of you who do not know what this is, a hamster was sent up Mr. Slave's rear.). That was when Enjolras ran screaming out of the classroom.  
  
Later that day, at Lunch, The miserable group minus Grantaire (who was still "in the bathroom") walked up to the Chef.  
  
"Well, hello there chil'ren."  
  
"Bonjour, Chef," They replied.  
  
"What's eating you?"  
  
(Well, mon cher Enjolras is homophobic and he's afraid of Monsieur Garrison.)  
  
"Well- wait! Did you say Enjolras?"  
  
(Oui.)  
  
"But, you're all fictional characters! How could you- I have to tell someone!"  
  
With that, Chef ran into the kitchen. Eponine tried to ladle out some soup for herself. Suddenly, the whole pot fell on her.  
  
(AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!) She screamed.  
  
Enjolras lifted the pot to reveal a very dissolved Eponine.  
  
"Sacrebleu! They killed Eppie!" Marius cried.  
  
"You Bleep!" Enjolras yelled.  
  
Meanwhile, in Paris, the boys were all in Grantaire's apartment.  
  
"So what do we do?" Stan asked.  
  
(I don't know.) Kenny replied.  
  
"Well, we have to wake Cartman out f the stupor from that weird 'Mountain Dew'." Kyle said.  
  
"They kept mentioning an insurrection in the bar." Stan said.  
  
"Wait! Remember that play that Denver Playhouse put on?" Kyle asked.  
  
(Les Miserables?)  
  
"Yeah. Well That was what it seemed a lot like down there... WE could soon be in the middle of a bloody revolution... We could all get killed." Kyle said.  
  
(We have to get home, soon!)  
  
Cartman started to wake up. He looked around.  
  
"Got anymore Mountain Dew?" 


	3. Towelie

South Miz Chapter 3- Towelie  
  
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated a lot. I promise that once summer starts, I will update more. I do not own Les Mis or South Park.  
  
Grantaire and Eponine were sitting on a bench. Grantaire had an arm around her shoulder. He turned to her.  
  
"Do you want to go to Stark's Pond?"  
  
(Sure... Let's just not sit by the dock.)  
  
"Don't forget to bring a towel." A high pitched voice said.  
  
Eponine and Grantaire turned to see a blue towel with eyes, legs, arms, and a mouth. Grantaire stared for a moment.  
  
"Who the Bleep are you?" Grantaire said.  
  
"My name is Towelie."  
  
Enjolras and Marius were walking over to them for the switch off with Eponine when they saw the towel. Enjolras first reaction was to grab for his carbine but when he realized he did not have one, he merely let out a string of expletives.  
  
"Do you guys want to get high?" Towelie asked.  
  
"Sure!" Grantaire said, not quite getting what the towel meant. "I know the perfect place."  
  
Grantaire led them across the street. They passed Stark's pond and came to a hill. Theny climbed the hill and then went over to a cliff. Grantaire looked down.  
  
"Yep. The perfect place to get high." He said. Towelie looked at him.  
  
"What are you smoking and where can I get some?" Towelie asked. "Does she have them?" He asked looking at Eponine.  
  
Eponine got really uneasy and started to back up. Unfortunately, she was backing toward the edge of the cliff. She realized this too late as Towelie made a flying leap and landed on her. She fell back and the two went flying down the cliff. The three remaining looked over the edge as they watched her Plumet... er... plummet (sorry about that one). They heard the whumpf at the bottom.  
  
"Sacrebleu! He killed Eppie!"  
  
"You-"  
  
(No you guys. I'm fine.) Eponine said. Suddenly A rock fell down and landed on her. (AAARRGGGHH!) She cried out. There was silence as the threesome watched the rock crush her.  
  
"Sacrebleu! This time they killed Eppie!"  
  
"You Bleep!"  
  
Meanwhile, back in France, The boys were trying to talk the students out of revolution.  
  
"You guys are all gonna die!" Stan cried.  
  
"Je ne vous comprends pas," Joly replied  
  
"Don't you get it? If you revolt, you'll lose." Kyle explained.  
  
"Je ne vous comprends pas," Joly replied  
  
"Dude, I think I can get through to them," Cartman said. He then let out a string of fake French words. There was a pregnant pause and then:  
  
"Je ne vous comprends pas," Joly replied.  
  
(Aww Bleep!) Kenny yelled.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's so short. I promise they'll get longer. Anyway, please no flames. Next chapter features Mr. Hankey. 


	4. Mr Hankey Vs Grantaire

Chapter 4- Mr. Hankey vs. Grantaire

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while... I didn't forget this story. I just needed to focus for a while. I don't own Les Mis or South Park but I do own CD's for both.

Eponine and Marius sat hand in hand by a tree. Eponine smiled at him.

(Marius. I think you can kiss me now.) She said.

Marius suddenly threw up. Just then, Enjolras ran to them.

"You guys... there is something really wrong going on where I'm staying."

The three ran to his house. Enjolras led them to the bathroom where Grantaire was frozen in terror. There, Eponine and Marius saw him.

"Hidey Ho!"

The threesome looked at Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, with horror.

"Where's Kyle? I have a present for him?"

"Who's Kyle?" Enjolras asked.

"He's a little Jewish boy who lives here."

Mr. Hankey jumped up onto Eponine's shoulder.

"You look like a little boy I know."

Eponine ran around screaming with her eyes tightly shut. She ran into a wall and fell over, dead.

"Sacrebleu! They killed Eppie!"

"You Bleep!"

Grantaire suddenly snapped out of his catatonic state and attacked Mr. Hankey. Soon, Mr. Hankey was dead. Grantaire looked at Marius and Enjolras who were staring at him in shock and horror. Grantaire merely walked to the sink and began to wash his hands.

Meanwhile, in Paris, the four boys were walking by the Seine. They came across a man with incredible sideburns, long grey hair, and a nightstick. Cartman looked at him.

"Hey, old guy! Can you tell me where I can get more Mountain Dew?"

"Mountain Dew?" The man asked.

"Yeah! Can't you speak English, you Frenchie?"

"Frenchie?"

The man was now mad. He charged at the boys but slipped doing an incredible back flip landing in the Seine. He was knocked out on impact and drowned.

This disturbed the great Mecha-Hugo who came out of his cave in the French countryside and began to fly towards Paris...

A/N: Next will be Mecha-Stone and Mecha-Parker. Please review but no flames.


	5. Mecha Stone and Mecha Parker

Chapter 5- Mecha stone and Mecha Parker.

A/N: I don't own Les Mis or South Park.

Marius and Eponine were getting ready for the trade-off. Suddenly, a girl long blackhair and a pink cap walked up to them. Her name was Wendy.

"Hi, Marius. I sit next to you in class. You're pretty cute."

Marius threw up. Eponine growled.

Enjolras and Grantaire both walked up to the threesome.

"Hey you two. I just found this new thing called a fake I.D. and I used it to get into a bar!" Grantaire exclaimed.

"I had to go get him." Enjolras growled.

Wendy smiled at Marius.

"Enjolras, take Eponine, Wendy, let's talk."

Marius then threw Eponine at Enjolras and walked away with Wendy. Eponine growled louder and began to curse after pulling her hair tightly over her face.

Grantaire trailed after Eponine and Enjolras. He had nothing better to do and he was jealous... insanely jealous.

(Why does Marius suddenly like Wendy?)

"I don't know, but we can go and do something."

(Let's go to Jimbo's Guns... I need to find something.) Eponine said as a wild eyed expression came across her face.

"No, Eponine. You're not killing Wendy." Grantaire said.

(Bleep)

Meanwhile, Marius and Wendy were holding hands at Stark's Pond. Marius realized that Wendy was just like Cosette in every way except that she cursed a lot.

Eponine and Enjolras walked into Jimbo's Guns. Eponine went up to a display case. She saw an AK-47 with a bayonet attachment and laughed maniacally. She had Grantaire pay for the gun using his fake ID and then she hid it in her overcoat. Soon, she was off to Starks Pond.

When Eponine got there, she saw Marius and Wendy kissing. She let out a warrior like scream and charged at Wendy. Wendy was impaled on the bayonet. Then Eponine threw her and shot her repeatedly. Wendy let out a scream as she died getting blown to bits. Eponine laughed maniacally and raised the gun over her head. Marius, Grantaire, and Enjolras stood horror stricken with their mouths agape.

"Sacrebleu! Eppie... killed... Wendy?"

"You... Bleep?"

"Dude, we are never ticking off Eponine again." Grantaire said hurriedly.

(Don't mess with Eponine Thenardier.) Eponine said with a crazed expression.

This disturbed Mecha Stone and Mecha Parker. They arose out of Starks pond and shot fire out of their eyes causing our Fantastic French Four to run for cover.

Back in France, Mecha Hugo was searching for the four boys from Colorado. Kenny looked up and saw him. He screamed. The others looked up and saw Mecha Hugo and began to run while cursing loudly.

A/N: I think I will only do a few more chapters for this one. Please Review but no Flames.


	6. Mecha Hugo and The End

South Miz Chapter 6- Mecha Hugo

A/N: I don't own Les Mis or South Park

Mecha Hugo landed where the four boys stood. They had run into an alley way and were stopped. They looked at Mecha Hugo. Mecha Hugo grabbed Kenny with his huge claws and squeezed him. Soon, Kenny popped like… a boy being popped by a giant Japanese robot version of Victor Hugo… Yeah…

"Oh my Bleep! He Killed Kenny!"

"You Bleep!"

"Dude! We gotta get outta here!" Cartman yelled.

Meanwhile in South Park, The Fantastic French Four were running for their lives. Marius tripped and Mecha Stone and Mecha Parker aimed at him. Eponine turned to see this and began to run toward Marius.

(Marius! No!) She screamed.

Eponine pushed Marius out of the way just as Mecha Stone and Mecha Parker fired two missles. Eponine was hit and set ablaze.

"Sacre Bleu! They killed Eppie!" Marius cried.

"You Bleep!" Enjolras yelled.

Grantaire grabbed some of the snow and extinguished the fire with it. He then cradled Eponine and cried.

"No!" He wept. "Eponine! Don't leave me! I love you!"

Eponine coughed weakly.

(You do?)

"Yes. I have for a long time now. Oh please don't leave me…"

(I won't be gone for long… If these monsters finish you off… We'll meet in heaven…)

"But what if we don't die?"

(Then I'll… be back… in… a…. eehhgg…)

Eponine soon lay limp in Grantaire's arms. Grantaire looked up into the heavens.

"Eppie!" He cried ala the guy in a streetcar named desire.

(Don't… call… me… Eppie…) Eponine whispered with her last breath.

Grantaire cried and held her close. Enjolras tapped him on the shoulder.

"Dude, I'm sorry that Eponine is dead and all but we still have to save ourselves."

Mecha Stone and Mecha Parker began to aim again. The three French men huddled close knowing the end was near.

Suddenly, there was a blinding light. Soon, Grantaire, Eponine, Marius, and Enjolras were standing face to face with Cartman, Kenny, Stan and Kyle. Mecha Hugo, Mecha Parker, and Mecha Stone faced each other as well. Suddenly, an African American girl appeared. She was being dragged by a man who resembled Shakespeare who was busy pulling her ear.

"Ow! Ow! Okay! I'll fix it!" the girl shrieked. The man let her go.

"Who are you?" Marius asked.

"I am the authoress of this fan fiction. Will here is making me set things back to the way they were… I guess with the simple stroke of the keys of my keyboard, I could make it all right."

The girl began to type on the laptop that appeared out of thin air. She typed:

"First, Mecha Hugo, Mecha Stone, and Mecha Parker were returned to their homes. Then the Fantastic French Four and the boys from South Park turned back into their original selves."

As she typed, the words came true. The three Mecha geniuses were sent back from whence they came and the Fantastic French Four and boys from South Park looked like their normal selves. The girl noticed that Grantaire was very good looking and began to type again.

"Then, the boys from South Park returned to South Park and Eponine, Marius and Enjolras returned to France while Grantaire and La Epster got marri-"

Shakespeare slapped her upside the head.

"I mean… Grantaire, Eponine, Enjoras and Marius went back to France."

As she typed, it all happened. She looked at Shakepeare who looked satisfied.

"Are you happy now?"

"Yes I am, you little waif. From certain torture after death you are safe. Now to go and right the wrong from whoever thinks my plays to long."

In France, Eponine found herself outside of the café, Marius was inside, Grantaire was at his table in the corner, and Enjolras was in front of the students. When the meeting ended, Eponine went inside to see Grantaire. Grantaire saw her and they ran into each other's arms. Marius sighed until he remembeedr he was home and he could have his Cosette. He ran out of the café and began to look for her so he could stalk her.

Meanwhile, in South Park, the four boys arrived at Stark's Pond. They all rejoiced when suddenly a huge eagle swooped down and picked up Kenny dropping him in  
Starks pond where a giant fish ate him.

"Oh my Bleep! They killed Kenny!" Stan cried.

"You Bleep!" Kyle answered.

"I wana have some more of that French Mountain Dew!" Cartman yelled.

The End

A/N: Sorry for the horrible ending. Please review but no flames.


End file.
